Episode 12 – My birth story

It’s my baby’s first birthday!!!

To be honest, it’s more like I’m the birthday girl in this story. I’m so excited and overwhelmed with joy all over again, just like I was when we passed the six-month milestone. I don’t know what stepping into this New Year will bring, but I trust that it will come with lots of happiness and peace.

I’ve had to make a lot of preparation for a photo shoot. I still don’t know my way around this new country, and we don’t exactly have the funds for a professional photographer. This brings me back to my early days of apprenticeship as a photographer; I’m a professional photographer who never practiced or made a move to even own a camera. Fear consumed me, and I’m basking in it, but that’s a story for another day.

Now, I’ve had to polish my skills and make use of what I learned over the years, and it turned out perfect (have a look on our Instagram page @momhaven_).

It’s been a year now, and it feels like yesterday when I was wheeled out of that theatre with my child by my side. I have promised that this 12th episode will be my birth story, as many readers have requested, so this will be a pretty long one.

Before I had my baby, I was hung up on YouTube throughout my pregnancy, seeing different birth stories, experiences, and things to expect. I was inquisitive and asked many senior moms I knew about their stories as well. Two weeks before my due date, I started watching too many Caesarean section videos, trying to mentally prepare for the unexpected. I got all the information I needed and was just waiting for my baby to come.

At that point, when I would go online and see that some people I knew who got pregnant around the same time as me had given birth, I would get so scared and worried. I cried so much during the last week of my pregnancy; at 39 weeks and three days, all I did on this day was eat and cry. I cried, prayed, cried again, ate, and finally cried myself to sleep.

I just wanted my baby out already. I was tired of all the pain in my back, tired of sleeping on one side, tired of the severe heartburns, tired of looking like a round potato, tired of the heavy weight on my cervix and the pressure on my bladder. I prayed so much on this day, and God definitely listens to prayers because I started having contractions at exactly midnight.

It was so severe that I had to crawl out of bed; I crawled to the door and into the next room where my best friend was. I pushed open her door and called out to wake her up. She literally jumped out of bed and was so confused about what to do. It was midnight, and I was in so much pain, she asked to call the neighbours or any of our other friends to get me to the hospital as my hubby wasn’t around then, but I decided to hold on till morning instead. (Hubby had actually waited and taken leave from work to be with me at this time, but our baby didn't come at 36 weeks, and he had to go back to Lagos urgently)

Luckily my contractions only lasted till 4 am, and I could sleep till 9 am. I was still sceptical about going to the hospital when morning came and was considering waiting a bit more, but hubby insisted on my best friend taking me there. I think I was terrified and wanted to stall for as long as possible. I had my breakfast, showered, and we headed to the hospital.

On arrival, we did all that was necessary, and then I got assigned to a doctor I’d never met before. He asked me to get a scan done and then asked that I go to the maternity ward for the midwives to check my cervix. After checking, they said I was 2 cm dilated and were shocked I wasn’t feeling any pain, not knowing that I had already felt a lot throughout the night.

At this point, I thought that was all, not knowing it was only the tip of the iceberg. They took me to the scan section and could see that I was contracting a lot. They kept asking if I was really not feeling any pain, and I wasn’t at the time. They concluded I was a strong woman, and my pain threshold was high. In my head, I was like, ‘Just get the baby out already, I’m tired.’

I was still so scared because I had no idea how the delivery would go. I definitely didn’t want to labour for hours as I’ve heard about some other deliveries. I kept muttering my prayers and hoping for the best, my best friend was there to hold my hands, and my hubby was there virtually. After the scan results were ready, I was taken back to the doctor. He looked at it and said, “Madam, your baby is big o; from these results, she’s weighing 4kg, and we can’t risk you trying to push her out. We will have to prepare you for a caesarean section”.

I was still trying to process what he had said, and before I could say anything, he was already booking me for the operation, writing out all the tests I needed to do, and telling the nurse to take me away. I was in shock and thought that I should at least have a say in this, so I called my husband and was shivering as I explained everything to him. He asked to speak with the doctor, but he only said the same thing.

By this time, my sister-in-law had arrived, and we called my brother-in-law, who was also a doctor. We kept going back and forth, and I insisted on natural birth. Finally, my brother-in-law said I had to follow the doctor’s advice; he assured me everything would be fine. I was scared and confused; my heart was beating in my throat. I closed my eyes for a minute, and I was just reminding God that I said I wanted it easy, and then my mind said, “Would you just trust the process? Your way is not His way”.

I was too tired to argue and finally agreed to the operation. I decided to call my mom and tell her the situation, asking her to pray for me. She said, “God forbid you will not have that caesarean section; you will birth your child naturally” She started binding and casting (it’s actually very funny to me now). I told her I had already agreed to go for it, and all I needed her to do was stay strong in her faith and prayers. I know she was scared, but after letting her see the risk of doing it naturally, she finally agreed, and the preparation began.

It was already 5 pm, I had asked my best friend to get me food as I had only oat for breakfast, but I was told I couldn’t eat anything anymore. I had to take many different drips, and, usually, I’m not too fond of needles, but I learned to love them that day. I walked into the theatre room at precisely 6 pm; my anaesthetist arrived and got me set for the procedure. He was so nice, unlike the main doctor (not like he was hostile, but he had a straight face all through, and I just wasn’t having it with him).

The procedure started at 6:40 pm and ended at 7:00 pm. My baby came out with the Mogrib call to prayer (Mogrib- Muslims evening solat). I was awake throughout the operation but was numb from my navel down to my feet. I was so emotional and wanted to hold my baby immediately, but I was asked to keep my head down. She was crying so loud and sucking on her fingers like she came out so hungry.

She was cleaned up while I got stitched. We were wheeled out of the theatre and back to the maternity ward. My child was fed and handed over to my best friend. I was lying helplessly in bed because I was still numb and was asked not to raise my head for up to six hours. It was night already, so it was easy to stay that way all night. However, I couldn’t sleep and didn’t sleep for three more nights because I was too anxious and excited about the birth of my child. It was a very memorable experience for me.

Nobody warned me about the post-surgery recovery when the numbness wore out, and I had to stand for the first time. No birth method is easy. I repeat, NO BIRTH METHOD IS EASY.

See you on the next episode as I continue this blessed journey.

Thank you for reading.