Episode 14 – Working Mom

Hellooooo!

I know it’s been forever, but here I am again with another episode. I’m struggling to figure out how to balance my life as I just started my first job in a new country – taking it one step at a time, and getting a few moments to catch my breath. This episode should be filled with many emotions, but my daughter said, ‘No, Mommy, I’m a big girl, and you can keep all those emotions in a locked cupboard.’

Before getting a job, I’ve always thought of how to go about leaving my child for the first time in a foreign country. I have had sleepless nights and days thinking and building scenarios of what my experience will be like (you know how overthinkers can be). I was lucky to resume my job 19 days after our first birthday, which I thought was fair enough to give me time to brace myself.

It was not like I had never dropped her off to run errands before, but this was different. I’d be leaving my baby for more than 8 hours a day.

On the first day, I prayed and hoped for the best, and you know what? My daughter was all smiles and chatty with me. She waved me goodbye and blew me a kiss at the door. Due to work policy, I can’t use my phone at work except on breaks. I tried reaching out, and my husband told me she wasn’t even bothered; she had been going about her routine without Mom, and she was not crying or throwing tantrums.

This was a big relief to me anyway, but I was still scared. The next day came, and it went well again, so I guess I overthought this issue. My girl is doing great without me; to top it all off, I’ve been subtracted from the equation recently. My baby girl has now bonded more with her Papa than me because they spend most of the day together doing many activities.

On the days when her dad goes to work and I’m home with her, it’s just like I’m learning how to take care of her all over again. Her likes and dislikes had changed, and Papa would fill me in on a long list of dos and don’ts. A part of me is jealous, but on the other hand, I’m relieved. The happiness on her face when we go get the door for Papa, is totally different from when they come get the door for me.

I know I did this to my mom as I was a daddy’s girl, too, so I just know I’m reaping the fruits of my own behaviour. Anyway, it’s such a beautiful thing to watch my child grow and such an emotional one at the same time. Now, I no longer get worried while at work, thinking about what’s happening at home with my daughter. I just go about my day knowing I will get back to them in the evening.

This is a little appreciation message to Papa because I know he will be reading this. Thank you so much for being the best dad to our daughter.

This brings us to the end of this episode. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing.

Thank you all for your love! XoXo!